Freeze

Butterflies tickling the tips of my fingers,
brushing and coursing through my body;
Daring me to wake in the early hours of the morning,
before even the slightest bit of light softens the night sky –
Here is when it happens.

Energy begins to flood my veins,
thoughts begin to swarm my mind,
building up such anxiety
about things I cannot control.
Creating an incurable yearn for someone
who will never want me as much as I want them.

And still,
rest never seems to come easy
when there is always emptiness
in my once full bed,
when I am always questioning the reality
in which I exist,
when my fantasies take hold of my mind
with what could be –
Why am I always trying to fill this void?

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