Luminosity of Panic

Harsh, white lights
A tightness in my chest
An overwhelming sad
Creeping in over my shoulders.
I try to change rooms
To avoid the oncoming panic.


Dark, empty bulbs,
The humming of a bathroom fan.
Slow, deep breaths
Not stopping the rush of thoughts
Hitting me like an oncoming train.

The red sun’s glow
Beating down as I
Run to my car in fear
That my shaking hands
And sobs will offend you.

Yellow, incandescent lights
Barely illuminating my dash
While I try to catch my breath,
Tears pooling in the creases on my face,
My heart beating out of my chest.

The oncoming darkness of dusk
Cuts through my windshield
As I sit in your driveway
Trying to soak up enough silence
To drown out my swelling panic;
Growing embarrassment.

Dim, fluorescent lights
Slowly revealed
As your garage door lifts.
An open door,
For when I’m ready.

Soft, pink lights
While I’m curled in a ball
At the foot of your bed
Taking comfort in your distant company,
Trying to ease my mind;
Trying to stop my worry.

Indigo and rosy lights
Swirled on the ceiling
Watching you rest,
Tension relaxed under my touch –
The only calm I can provide.

Prompt: Jolt

Climb


Crisp, clean air biting my neck,
as I continue down a path
twisting around gnarled logs.
Some lay mangled around me,
looking displaced in a sea of stone and earth.
Walls of rock, painted with moss from the sun,
jut out from the side of the mountain;
challenging me to walk closer to the edge.
I try to avoid the moist soil,
soft from spring rain,
that compresses easily under my weight
while jumping from rock to rock.
Here my rushing thoughts are meaningless.

Prompt: Meaningless

The air lately: Free Verse

I want to pretend that I am happy,
but I’m not.
I don’t like being held in lower priority
than something inanimate.
I don’t like being in this weird in-between,
all this ambiguity drives me up a wall –
you either want me or you don’t.
I don’t like putting in effort,
and time,
and getting no return;
And, boy, don’t even get me started
on what I’ve missed out on…
But still,
here I am – feeling stupid and afraid to leave;
afraid to let go.
Everyone tells me to run,
to get out as fast as I can,
that you’re going to do just as everyone has done,
But still,
here I sit
because I believe you’re worth it,
I know.

Prompt: Controversy

Center

In the glimmer of the moonlight
Huge, hulking masses surround me on my way to the top.
The edges of night slowly begin to fade in the background,
Small glimmers of blue drowning out midnight’s black.
As the minutes pass,
The air loses its frigid bite and ruby streaks the sky –
here is where I find my center.

Prompt: Center

Vixen (clock)

Watching the ceiling fan wobble
(Tick)
Listening to her snore
(Tock)
Feeling her icy fingers run up my sides
(Tick)
Smelling of death’s breath
(Tock)
Tracing the small veins that run down her back
(Tick)
Uncovering her scars
(Tock)
Sharing each other’s imperfections
(Tick)
Searching for missing puzzle pieces
(Tock)
Watching her hide behind tattoos
(Tick)
Wanting to be nowhere else but here with the broken clock
(Tock)
Fitting in with everything else that is broken
(Tick)
Knowing this is the place I belong.
(Tock)

Joker

He hit him.
Then him sat in front of me,
To protect me from he,
Then he rambles on about how I’m no good,
And look at this –
No one has this,
And him growled and snarled because him saw the true he.
The lonely,
angry,
Two-faced he,
That chooses me out to blame for all of he’s misfortune.
Stupid he.

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